Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
