it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
