i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
