im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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