Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
