A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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