I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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