i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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