I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I have post one night stand depression
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