If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
