You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
