You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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