His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
