nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
