Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
