why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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