I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We're too hungover to prance.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
