I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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