my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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