He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
