Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i out mim tonsoeep
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
