is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
