i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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