I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he thought i was a dude.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
