i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
