Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
