i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
