this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize