It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
