i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
