some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize