Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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