FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize