I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
