You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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