Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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