let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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