Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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