So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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