i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
