so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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