Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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