We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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