Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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