EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
