I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
