We're like a lot better than the average bears
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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