you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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