He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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