Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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