According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
