there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
