Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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