sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it's great music for shaving your balls
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
