Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
