I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
