i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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