Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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