I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
