I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
