Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
