Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
