no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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