No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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