After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
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