He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
