And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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